According to a google search I conducted approximately one minute ago, 2018 is the Year of the Dog for Chinese Zodiac. I found this to be fitting because I like dogs and I have liked 2018 (for the most part). Of course there were some set backs and some heavy hearted moments, but I think I may have grown as a person this year more than any other year so far (emotionally, unfortunately my growth spurts seem to be over). Here's a summary of what happened! I will try not to ramble too much.
1. I was sick a lot. I started the good old New Year with a nasty cold that I couldn't kick. This definitely hindered my ski racing, especially at the beginning of the season, but there were also other factors that prevented me from skiing my fastest. Then, when I got home to Park City for the summer, I quickly contracted mono which put me out of training for 2ish months. As many seemingly terrible things in life are, I think getting mono was actually a blessing in disguise because it forced me to rest, reflect on why I am an athlete in the first place, and allowed me to work on other parts of myself I had been neglecting.
2. I created a deep, dark, hole in my mind and crawled into it. This happened in the spring, and although it was brief, as in 2-3 weeks, it was the first time that I had ever felt sad for longer than a day or two and it scared me. But it also gave me even more empathy for people who suffer from depression or other mental health disorders. These are completely invisible illnesses and in the moment it's easy to think that your emotions will never be normal again.
3. Did I mention I got mono? Within a week of coming home I hiked Mount Olympus with my mom on Mother's Day. A seemingly pleasant mother-daughter adventure quickly turned sour when I felt like I had legs of lead and my mom felt the food poisoning from a Mother's Day brunch and ended up throwing up during our descent. That night, I went to a Khalid concert with with my friend Kaila, and BAM I woke up the next morning knowing that I was very sick and probably had mono. Fast forward a month of me sitting on the couch reading and watching TV and I was feeling utterly out of shape but kind of relieved to have taken a break from training. I started moving my body again by going on short walks around the neighborhood and going to yoga with my mom. Fast forward to July and I was still feeling tired but was determined to start running again. My friend Aja came and visited from Bozeman and she helped jumpstart my motivation to train again. But the real kick in the butt came from my mom when I was on a climbing trip at the City of Rocks in mid-July. The two of us went for an easy 20 minute jog and I couldn't keep up with her. I had to start walking. This is when my real running training started. For the rest of the summer, I ran faster and faster. Going from 10 minute miles to 7 minute miles. It was truly a testament to how quickly the body can adapt to training if you simply put in the work.
4. I had to say a very hard goodbye. Of course this goodbye was to my dog, brother, and loverboy, Sitka (aka P-Diggy). I spent two days in the deepest despair I had ever felt. I briefly wondered if I would be depressed forever. But then it passed. I knew that I had given that dog all the love I could muster within the 15 years we spent together, and I think that gave me peace. Rest in Peace, my baby boy.
5. I got an actual job! Yee. I worked as a waitress at Slapfish in Park City (because they say everyone has to work as a server at least once) and because I wanted to work on my talking-to-people-especially-strangers-skills. I think it helped. Forcing myself to smile and be bubbly while describing the Epic Fish Burrito™to hungry customers was deeply unnatural for me, but I got pretty good at it with time (despite being verbally abused a few times).
6. I reconnected with an old friend - and it may very well have been the best part about my summer. I have been friends with Ian since I was 5 (?) years old. We actually went to senior prom together in high school, but I hadn't seen him at all since then. I reached out to him and this started a domino line of adventures including going to the lake, me third-wheeling at a Sylan Esso concert, going to the gym together, hiking for 7 hours while being way too hung over, and going skydiving in Moab! It was so awesome (not the skydiving part- that was pretty terrible). I would highly recommend reaching out to old friends in you are feeling lonely.
7. I saw a therapist all summer. And it was 100% worth it and a good idea. There should not be anything wrong or weak or crazy about doing this if you need help with something.
8. I went back to NMU to start my senior year and to be totally honest, I was not very excited. Things were going so well for me in Utah that I kind of just wished that I could stay there. BUT, that attitude quickly changed when I started spending more time with my two new roommates, Julie and Tad, who made me feel comfortable and supported. I had a really fun fall with those two.
9. My cross-country season went well. By some miracle, I was in decent running shape after taking almost two months off from training at the beginning of the summer. I had fun traveling and racing with the team for one last hurrah, and although we didn't end up making it to nationals, we put forth our very best effort considering the number of injuries and other extenuating circumstances that were unraveling our top 7 runners.
10. I went home for Christmas and brought my roommate Julie along with me. I love being home for Christmas and I'm lucky to have such a great family. Of course not everything could go smoothly on this happy-go-lucky holiday so I had to start Christmas morning by backing out of my garage with the rocket box on the car wide open, breaking it in half and rendering it useless. Merry Christmas Y'all!
11. I honestly don't remember where I spent my New Year's Eve (which is kind of sad) It was probably in Craftsbury, Vermont for US Nationals, a place and experience that I don't care to ever relive.
So yeah. That was my Year of the Dog. Started a bit rough, but got better and better as it went on. Moral of the story: whatever you are going through right now, whether it be good or bad, it will change with time. So appreciate those sweet moments even more, and know that the hard moments will come to an end at some point, they have to. #sappy
Thank you for reading :-)
-Sophie
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