Nerdy n' Fly:

Nerdy n' Fly- that's what I recently changed the name of this blog to and I thought that I would explain why.

Nerdy n' Fly is a motto. It's a way of life. Okay that's getting pretty deep but seriously this idea means a lot to me, I even chose it for the phrase engraved on the inside of my glasses (and it fits well because glasses are the classic symbol of nerdiness). 

Before I tell you exactly what it means though, I have to give you a little bit of background on myself. It's hard to pinpoint when or why exactly my self-deprecating sense of being began, but it goes way back, even to the days when I was a young child who preferred to make some weird, awkward face than try and look cute in pictures. I guess I have always thought that making fun of yourself allows you to not take yourself quite as seriously, it also may stem from a slight (or not so slight) lack of confidence. In any case, this personality trait has completely shaped me and shaped my friendships. I am automatically drawn to people who openly share their embarrassing stories and admit their failures. It shows a lot of trust and courage, in my opinion. Making yourself vulnerable to being judged is scary, but it's also the best way to connect with others. Being weird is great, and if you can find other people who are the same type of weird as you, you have found a blessing. 

I have met many of these blessings throughout my 21 year existence, but it wasn't until I met Kaila Balch that the Nerdy n' Fly lifestyle was born. We were both awkward, unpopular, athletic, "nerds", when our friendship began our sophomore year of high school. Both riddled with social anxiety, neither one of us knew that we both possessed the exact same self-deprecating, sometimes-morbid, unrelenting sense of humor, as well as the same softness of heart. We had coexisted during freshman year cross-country, exchanging friendly remarks and occasional awkward laughs, but nothing more. Sophomore year, we were in three of the same classes, and like a bud in spring, our friendship bloomed into a breathtakingly beautiful flower (cue the romantic comedy montage). Never before had I had a friend who seemed to know the exact thoughts that were crossing my mind, just by exchanging a look across the room. There were multiple times in our sophomore art class where Kaila and I, who sat across and facing each other, had to fight with all our strength not to burst out laughing and disrupt the peaceful doings of art as our old and somewhat cranky teacher played her book on tape which gave a detailed, and harrowing account of the black plague. It wasn't that hearing about the plague was funny (it's really not, it's freaking horrible) it's that the entire class sat silently, diligently working on their still-life fruit paintings as a descriptive passage about pustules bursting on the poor soul's bodies in the story was narrated by a somber woman's voice. Honestly it doesn't seem that funny now but we half-died whenever our teacher put that tape in for the class to listen to. There was another time in that class where I remember forcing myself to look away from Kaila and stare at the wall because a song came on that's chorus crooned "Bulldozer, run right oooover us. Feel the snap and crash of burning flesh!" (It turns out those aren't even the real lyrics) but oh man did we think that sh*t was funny, we laughed about that one for weeks. There was also the time when we had an uncontrollable laughing fit during English when for some unknown reason we started imagining a missile barreling through the window and taking out our teacher Mr. Miller (who we very much liked) who sat innocently telling a story on his stool, wondering what in the world these two normally silent girls were laughing about. The Lord only knows where these thoughts came from, but all we knew was that we understood each other in a way deeper than the surface level, 'I'm a human and you're a human', type of way. This was just the beginning. I could write all night about other hilarious (to us) moments that Kaila and I have had over the course of our friendship but this post would quickly turn into what feels like a romantic novel and you would want to jab your eyes out. But in the end, I'm happy to say that 6 years later Kaila and I are still best friends. We still talk on the phone all the time about stupid stuff, and fart jokes, and how we both have a very refined skill of making almost every situation awkward. Dang I love that girl. But ANYWAY, now that my rant on Kaila and I's wonderful friendship is over, I will get back to the real topic of this blog which is NERDY and FLY!!!

Sometime during the maybe 3rd or 4th year of our friendship, I started saying the phrase, "Nerdy and fly, all at the same time" when referring to Kaila and I's demeanor -- you have to understand that high school was a rough (at best) time for both of us, and although Kaila and I weren't your characteristic 'nerds' we still felt like losers at times. I most definitely thought that I was hit with a stroke of brilliance when I came up with this saying and Kaila did as well because we kept on using it.
So, what is the meaning of nerdy and fly? Well, it's quite simple you see, it means that you don't have to look cool, be popular, or even have cool friends to be FLY. It's really a testament to how awesome nerds can be.

On a deeper level though, this phrase really comes down to self-acceptance. If there's one topic that Kaila and I have spent hours talking late at night or mumbling into our phones from across the country about, it's this: that we both struggle with accepting the people we are. It's a tough world to live in when you feel like you don't fit anywhere. I can't speak for Kaila, but during the times when I feel awkward or like I don't fit in, I feel like a nerd (aka uncool), and during the times when I am with family or with other good friends or simply doing something I love, I feel fly (aka cool). It's a constant struggle between these two states of being and while many would say that choosing to simply be 'fly' is the answer to happiness, I want to choose both. I want to make nerdy, cool. I don't want to put on a fake face of confidence and outgoingness and normalcy. I want to embrace all of the weirdest quirks that make me, me. And I want Kaila to do the same. We all have a nerdy side, at least I think we all do, so please stop trying to hide it.

It is possible, my friends, although probably all of you know this already, to be nerdy and fly, all at the same time.

So yeah, this was quite the strange and disjointed post, but oh well, I will most likely send it off into the internet abyss anyway.

Don't forget to spread the nerdiness, spread the flyness, and most of all, spread the love.
<3 Sophie

also if you know this movie and think it's the most hilarious thing on planet Earth than we will can be instant friends for life :3

Summer/Fall Recap

Hey there.

I'm writing this from my dorm room at NMU on the last day of the 2016 fall semester. Oh how the time has flown. I was just reading my last blog post and realized that I should have posted on this blog a lot more last summer, but hey, better late than never right? 

Let me recap you on the eventful (and uneventful) times that have made up the past six months. 

- I came home. And I have never been more stoked in my life. I will never forget walking into the baggage claim area in the SLC airport and seeing my parents, grandma, and best friend all there waiting for me. When I went outside I had to take a moment to just gaze up at the gorgeous snow-capped Wasatch mountains. Everything was so familiar, and so beautiful. I felt an overwhelming sense that I was in the place I was supposed to be. 

This feeling lasted for the entirety of the summer, I didn't take one day for granted. 

- I trained, a lot. I roller skied and ran more than I have in my life over the summer. It was hard, but also really motivating to see myself improving. I really enjoyed it. I also ran a ton and did some fun runs that I  had never done before. 

- I saw The Neighborhood, The Lumineers, and 21 Pilots in concert.

- I reunited with old friends. I was lucky to get to see almost all of my high school friends over the summer and it was super cool to hear about what they are doing at their respective colleges and how they are doing in general. I've got some awesome people for friends. 

- I accidentally went to an LGBT dance/rave with my best friend Kaila, and it was great.

- Kaila and I wanted to try clubbing but quickly abandoned that idea when we saw the sketchy AF looking club. 

- I went on a camping/climbing trip at Maple Canyon where I experienced a mental breakdown while leading an 11b. My parents were shocked to hear some of those words coming out of my mouth.

- I went on another camping trip with my wonderful mother to Dark Canyon where it was so windy one night that our tent almost flew off a cliff when we were setting it up ( I chased it and almost died). My mom and I also almost ran out of gas while driving on a deserted road absentmindedly jamming to The Beatles.

- I walked the neighborhood trails with my boyfriend P-Diggy.

- I made an embarrassing video of myself showcasing me and Sitka's relationship, although it more just shows my utter lack of friends -- I will post below, don't judge me.

- Kaila and I camped in my metal van on the top of Gaurdsman's Pass in the middle of a sketchy lighting storm.

- I dorked out with my mom on the daily.

- I did many Park City loops with Kyle roller skiing and catching up on our lives.

- I drug Kaila to the MARC with me twice a week to do strength and we suffered through a variety of TRX exercises, bench press, and many other wonderful moments of pain.

- I went to Steamboat for the Fourth of July and had a mostly good time that I can't quite recall. I spent it with Brenna and her boyfriend Ben, two people who I genuinely enjoy.

- I volunteered at Nuzzles and Co. and walked some mangy, but cute dogs around the Rescue Ranch.

- I helped my mom teach art at a retirement home in Heber where we met some super nice older people and one guy who was an awesome artist, really fun time.

- I developed a major crush.

- I climbed a lot at Momentum and accomplished my goal of climbing a 12a by the end of the summer (on top rope).

- My mom and I went to a 3 day sound/healing retreat at the Shambhala Mountain Center in Colorado. We learned some songs and chants and played rhythms on the drums and on the last night we had a ceremony that people came and watched. There is certainly something magical about the giant Buddha that sits peacefully at the Shambhala. I was kind of stressed out going into the whole trip, but I left feeling more peaceful and with my priorities in line.

- Kaila and I accidentally climbed Twin Peaks, the peak that has the highest elevation gain from bottom to top in the Wasatch (we thought we were climbing a different peak) and had an epic getting back down as it got dark and we decided the best way to get down was to scale sketchy AF cliffs and come face to face with a group of mountain goats. There was a moment when Kaila somewhat jokingly asked if we were going to end up on one of those "I shouldn't be alive" shows as we bushwhacked through head-high shrubs and I began stepping down a slippery waterfall, just holding onto vines. I laughed but in my head I was thinking we were screwed. It is safe to say that we were relieved to finally reach the main trail and even happier to get to the car at midnight.

- My family and I went to Canada!! This was probably one of my favorite parts of summer. We went to Squamish and Whistler, BC, and let me just say, that is the place to be. I wasn't sure if there was a place nicer than Park City to live, but Squamish and Whistler take the cake on that one. It was gorgeous there, with towering mountains right by the vast ocean. We hiked, climbed, ran, ate (my personal favorite), explored, and spent time with my parent's friend Nevada. It was a good time with only a few stressful traveling moments.

- I said my goodbyes, which was harder than the first time I left for college.

- I came back to Marquette.

And here I am now, mid ski season. It was a fun summer and I can't wait for the next one, but right now is go-time!!

Thanks for reading, I know this was a very single-minded blog that may not have interested anyone but myself, but I enjoyed writing it and I guess that's what really matters.

<3 sophie

I'll post the video once I get the link working