The Truth About Gap Years

Gap years: A parent's worse nightmare and a slacker student's wildest dream. Or at least that's one of the stereotypes. Now that my gap year is almost complete I would like to talk about what my gap year experience was really like. 

When this year off school started, I really had no idea how it would be. I was still trying to recover from the marathon that was high school so I wasn't exactly worrying about "finding myself" or spending every day productively over my gap year. People would ask, "What are you going to do during your gap year?" And I would respond with a slightly pathetic, "I don't know, just train mostly..." With a semi-reassuring smile and head nodding. They asked me whether I was going to travel or get a job or take a class (which to be fair I did do), and I would just tell them "we'll see". For me the gap year was more about finding a balance between training and relaxing, and overall just having a fun year before my next 8 (?) years of school begin, not to mention finding my dream school (which I did find!!!). I think there are some misconceptions that a gap year has to be a year jam-packed with activity that most likely includes a service trip and a full time job or internship. Do parents not realize that us teenagers have already been turned into workaholics throughout high school and that what many of us truly need is a break? In my opinion, here are the bad and good things about taking a gap year: 

We'll get the bad things over with first:

- Brain cells were lost. I unfortunately can't remember how to find a derivative and occasionally my brain seems to be functioning at about 70% of what it was in high school. This wouldn't particularly matter except for the fact that I have to take a math placement test and I do NOT want to retake math classes. 

- Sometimes I got seriously bored. Like I would look up "bored" and play a stupid game on the internet.

- I thought too much about skiing. Without much else on my plate, I spent a lot of time over analyzing my training and racing, instead of treating skiing as a reward for surviving school.

- Due to poor snow conditions and other factors such as the one listed directly above this, during this past February, I had a week of extremely low motivation. I really wanted to quit skiing and I felt pretty depressed over it. But thank the lord I stuck with it.

- I wasn't as close to my team as I was previous years. This wasn't really because I took a gap year, it was more because I only trained with my team 3 or 4 days a week instead of 6. This was also due to crappy snow and also not taking part in my team's unorthodox strength training.

-I learned what "binge-watch" means... three episodes in a row does not count. In all seriousness though, this may have been one of the bigger problems during my gap year because it turns out that when a binge-watching session ends, you have to go back to the real world, the one that contains exactly 0 drama and excitement compared to your show. 

- My sleeping habits turned crazy. When you don't have school at 7:30 or training at 8:00, what is the rush to get out of bed? SERIOUSLY PEOPLE?! 

- I didn't meet a lot of new people. Old friends are gold friends right? 

- I had to go through some stuff in my family that was hard. 

- I obtained a seriously crappy cough that I've had for what feels like the last year but is more like the past 4 months. And guess what caused the cough? Inhaling burned cake ashes while trying to be a productive person and bake a cake. #notcool

- Sometimes I felt like I was wasting time.

Now for the good things:

- I feel ready to go to college. Last year at this time, I had just barely decided that I was going to take a gap year and go to Northern Michigan and not Montana State starting that fall. I felt a giant relief come off my shoulders when I made that decision because I knew for a fact that I was not ready to start stressing over school again, not to mention being pulled from my comfort zone and my best friend.

- I learned how to train by myself. Because I have done A LOT of that this summer and the past winter. I now feel like I am a motivated human being because I am able to get myself outside and training every day without the extra push of having a team there by my side. 

- I truly learned the importance of making skiing/training fun. All last fall and the beginning of winter, I was very serious about skiing, but once the races started I only felt frustrated by my mediocre results. I had to realize that the best part of ski racing, is ski racing, it's not about where your name ends up on the results list. 

- I got to spend more time with my parents. I know that some teenagers would cringe at that, but I love spending time with my parents and I'm proud of that. 

- I now have a friend who I know will be a friend for life. Not that Kaila and I wouldn't be friends if I hadn't taken a gap year, but the memories we made over this year are ones that I will treasure. 

- I got to go to Europe! This was an awesome trip and I think back on it with a happy heart. I fell in love with Switzerland and Chamonix and I can't wait to go back someday. 

- I got to paraglide over Chamonix with my 82 year old grandma. This one definitely deserves it's own bullet point. 

- I climbed the Grand Teton with my mom. It was hard but also a super cool experience. 

- I got to rock-climb almost every week. This is something that I know I will miss in college. I really got to the point where I loved to climb, not just kind of liked it. 

- I got to spend time with my favorite animals on the planet, P-Nuggy and Miss B! Watching Bella swim around the Willow Creek lake with other dogs on the Birthday a few days ago was worth taking a gap year in itself (ha maybe not, but it was pretty cute).

- I feel more confident. My self-esteem was about in the 50% range when I left high school, but now I feel like it's up in the 90% range most days. I just don't care what people think of me as much, which is really sweet.

- I went canyoneering in Zion National Park with my homieG Kaila and our families.

- I've forgotten all about that "popular" BS that went on in high school. 

- I have driving skills that I wouldn't have if I'd taken a year long hiatus from driving. 

- I took a class from the University of Utah that I loved (and that's saying something considering how much I drone on about my hatred of high school). The class was Sociology and I cried on the last day and gave my professor a hug... my high school teachers would be shocked to hear this. 

- I had my first official job teaching (trying to teach) young kids how to nordic ski! #accomplishments

- I got to attend the NEG camp last fall, which I wouldn't have gone to if I had taken a gap year. It was an awesome week where I made close friends with Olivia Ekblad and Hannah Halvorsen and we got to do some workouts with the US Ski Team!

- I had another amazingly fun week at Junior Nationals and spent time with some super cool girls!

-  On a more serious note, I learned self acceptance. It's easy to attack yourself when you spend a lot of time alone and doing "nothing", and I had days when I would think "what are you doing with your life?", but I was able to shut that little voice telling me I needed to be following the productive life formula down. How you choose to spend your time is your choice. It shouldn't be societies. 

- Although I may still be confused about what career I want to have, I feel like I know myself a lot better than I did before this year.

- I partied (once). 

:)

My awesome Grandma about to go paragliding!

My mom and I on top of Aguille du Midi! So pretty!

thanks for reading!

Top of the Grand Teton with ma MADRE!

Kaila= Lyfe 

Burned Bread: A Lesson on Failure and Acceptance

A few days ago I went to the library to find a few books that I could indulge myself in now that I've seemingly watched all of the shows that interest me on Netflix. As I awkwardly wandered around the quiet library searching for the Teen section (which I of course found after searching every inch of the rest of the library) I found the cooking section and decided to check out a cook book because why not? And I would feel slightly embarrassed if the only books I checked out were cheesy teen romance novels. The cook book was special because it only had gluten free recipes, so I thought that was pretty neat. And there must have been something else pretty special about it because right when I got home, I felt like cooking (miracle). I started with something that I thought would be easy: baking pumpkin bread.
I carefully stirred all of the ingredients together in a mixing bowl and shamelessly had a little taste. It was super yummy! And this made me more excited for what the bread would taste like. My mom helped me set up the convection oven and at the last minute I spread some coconut oil over the batter for some added flavor. I popped it in the oven and then all I had to do was wait for 25 minutes while it cooked. For the first 10 minutes I patiently waited and watched as the mix raised and started looking unbearably delicious. With 15 minutes to go, I figured I could run upstairs and change my clothes (we were going out to dinner) before the masterpiece was complete. Well, it turns out I was wrong. I walked out of my room (looking quite fashionable, might I add) and turned to my mom in horror as the smell of burning deliciousness wafted into my nostrils. I sprinted down the stairs and I could already see the smoke filling up my kitchen. I opened up the microwave oven and a huge puff of smoke billowed out. I had to step away because it was so intense and I didn't want to get the black lung. I coughed then grabbed some cooking mitts and pulled my beloved cake out only to find that it was completely black. Shocked, I rushed it outside onto my deck to let it smoke and then tried to assess the damage. I found out that sadly, the cake was completely inedible and was more comparable to some ashy igneous rock than pumpkin bread. I immediately felt a rush of sadness. I had failed. I had tried baking and I had failed. My dad called into the room asking if something was burning and then rushed in.
"Oh no! Your yummy bread! Did you just forget about it?"
I scowled, "No. The box told me to bake it for that long! There were still five minutes on the timer!"
I felt worse when my dad checked out the "bread" and said that he had never seen something that burned in his life.
We opened all of the windows and let the cool breeze come in, trying to get the smoke out. I now had a choice: I could wallow in feeling bad for myself that I had burned my pumpkin bread (my first one ever, might I add) or I could move along and laugh about it, because it was, in actuality, pretty funny.
Luckily, I chose the second option. I took pictures of the rectangular black tar while it continued cooling off and I later took pictures as it lay, completely intact, in my garbage can.
The same day,  my whole family went grocery shopping and I was determined to find something else I could bake. I was not going to let that stupid pumpkin bread take me down. Banana bread was the winner and I went on to execute it perfectly the next day for my dad's birthday. As I scarfed down my scrumptious creation I realized that the whole baking experience was just a very small example of what not giving up can do for you. Failure is a part of life, and in order to succeed in anything, you need to be able to get over failure.
I have failed at a lot of things. Some I have simply let go of if they weren't working out of didn't mean a whole lot to me, such as playing soccer or getting a 4.0 in high school. Other things I have failed at, but persevered through, and those are some of the things I love to do most (skiing and running). Someday, if I become a high level skier, I want to be able to tell younger kids that I failed a ton before finally achieving my dream. Heck, I didn't make varsity for the cross-country state meet my freshman year of high school, I was DFL in the 2013 US National classic sprint, and even more recently, I wasn't even close to hitting my goal of qualifying for World Juniors this past winter. All of these moments hurt a lot and made me want to quit, but I am so glad that I didn't, because I simply love to do these sports and I love to race.
In the end, you need to love your failures just as much as you love your successes, because whether you like it or not, they define you and can mean just as much.

On a last note, I would like to mention (although I don't like mentioning it) that I failed my driver's license test four times before I passed it. This was the most humiliating set of failures I have suffered from and I still hate admitting it to people because I feel so inadequate. At the time, I thought there was something seriously wrong with me. All my friends would pass on their first try, and then there was me...failing to properly execute my head checks. I pretty much told no one because I was terrified of what they would think. But, now that it's said and done, I'm glad that I had to take the test that many times because I think I am a better driver because of it. I have yet to get in a crash (knock on wood) and I feel like I actually know what I'm doing. So although there were moments when I was genuinely ready to be a lifetime bike-rider and carpooler, I proved to myself that if you just keep on trying, eventually it will work out.

P.S. I now literally have the black lung from inhaling in my burned bread smoke... Oh the joys of failure.

Lessons I've Learned this Season: Part 2

Soho Time Trial- Midway, Utah

Skate 5k: The week prior to this time trail was the roughest week of the season for me. I was home alone, feeling highly unmotivated, forced to cross-train because there was no place to ski in Park City. I distinctly remember going out and doing bounding intervals in the 60 degree weather and thinking to myself that I was going to quit skiing. It was not a fun week to say the least, but I managed to pull my lazy self out of bed and make it to Soldier Hollow to do this 5k time trail. I started really fast and felt good for about the first half of this race, but then out of nowhere I hit a wall and my pace slowed significantly. I finished the race, knowing that my result would not be good compared to my teammates'. I tried not to stress about this result, but it definitely didn't help my motivation. I learned that even in a 5k, you need to pace yourself and stay a bit relaxed. 

3rd JNQ- McCall, Idaho

Classic sprint: My excitement towards skiing had been somewhat renewed due to a lovely week in the snowy Sun Valley leading up to this final JNQ. I woke up the morning of this race feeling very excited, especially considering I had thought this was my weakest event. Just like the last skate sprint I did, my qualifier was not ideal, as I stumbled on the one uphill on this course and lost precious seconds there. But that didn't frustrate me because I knew that I still had the heats to come. I felt great in my quarterfinal and ended up coming in first, boosting my confidence a bit. In my semifinal, I was stacked against three of my teammates, but it need up working out because three of the four of us ended up moving on to the B-final, and it felt really cool to be moving on with your teammates. The A-final was one of the best and also worst races of the year for me. Before the race, I committed to using my new klister skis instead of using the more popular "zeros". I started the race a little slow, but caught the other 5 girls on the steep uphill and pushed as hard as I could, passing all but one, my teammate and friend Leah Lange. I tucked in behind her on the downhill and flew by her just as we were about to turn the corner and come into the home stretch. I was going to win, I suddenly realized with a huge burst of energy. I stood up from my tuck and before I could say "knock on wood", both of my skis grabbed the sun-lit snow like glue. I landed on my face and cried out "No!" as all of the girls passed me. I basically walked into the finish line, feeling extremely defeated. I had a hard time getting over what had happened in this race because I had been so close to winning. But I learned that if the stars align, I am capable of killing it in a classic sprint.

Skate 5k: I don't really like to think about this race because it was what I like to call a "throw away race". Coming into the race, I had one goal: to win. But after arriving at the venue and having our coach tell us that we should try to help a few of the girls who were not soundly qualified for Junior Nationals out, I felt very conflicted. The course was basically flat with two uphills and it was an ice sheet. I didn't know it then, but it probably would have been impossible for me to win this race even if I was feeling amazing, simply because my skate skis were way too soft for the conditions. I started the race without a game plan, not knowing whether to stay back and help my friends or to go out hard and try to stay with the front. Within the first kilometer, I knew that it wasn't going to be my day. My skis felt slow and sluggish, and I felt like I was working way harder than the other girls in the front pack. After a few people passed me, I decided that if I wasn't going to have a good race, I might as well drop back and help my team. I did that, finishing right behind my teammate Katy. I was the only one to drop back from my teammates, which definitely felt kind of crappy, but I tried to tell myself that I had done the right thing. I learned that unless you are given strict and specific instructions on working together as a team, you should just go out there and give it your best. This isn't cross-country running after all and it is an "every man for himself" kind of sport. 

Junior Nationals- Truckee, California

Skate sprint: One again I felt excited, but also pretty nervous for this race. I surprised myself in the qualifier, getting a solid 5th place. I was borrowing my friend, Kyle's, stiffer skate skis for the icy course and I was so grateful he let me borrow them because they were way more stable than my softer skis. By the time the heats came around, the snow was soft and very slushy in places. I continued Kyle's skis and was able to scrap my way through quarterfinals. In the semifinals I went out a little fast and made a few tactical errors resulting in me not making the A-final, but I still got to race the B-final! I ended up 7th American that day and I felt satisfied with that result. I learned that during sprint races you shouldn't stress out about what place you are in until the final stretch of the race.

Skate 5k: Unfortunately the weather was not working in everyone's favor on this day and it was snowing/raining during all of the races. All of the athletes had to be a bit creative with their warm up during this entire week because there was limited snow to warm up on. I chose to run for my warm up every day because I like to run and it helped keep me calm, not worrying about how fast my skis were or how fast my competition looked ect. This day was no different. I ran and then skied for about 5 minutes then walked up to the stadium. My coach Gordo talked to me and told me that I should go hard and that I could win this race. I wasn't so sure myself, but I felt excited to get out on course and show off my stuff. I flew out of the starting gate with a smile on my face, knowing that not even this terrible rainy day could bring my spirit down. Unfortunately, slow skis did slow me down a bit and I focussed on not blowing up the first 2.5k lap. I stayed tough considering that my skis were not gliding well on the downhills, and ended up finishing 6th. I felt good about my result, but knew that I had a lot more to give. Intermountain had an all-around rough wax day, and almost nobody from our team had a good race. I learned firsthand that nordic ski racing involves a lot of variables, and many of these you cannot control, including wax and weather. The one thing you can control is how prepared you are to race, and always giving your 100% no matter what. 

Classic 10k: The rain was gone on this day and the sun had replaced it shining hot and bright. I generally enjoy mass start races and I was excited to see how this race would play out. Because of the lack of snow, the U20 girls had to do four laps of a hard 2.5k course. I knew that pacing was going to be important. Our group of girls took the first lap pretty easy and I was feeling great. By the second lap a few girls had broken away and I found myself in fourth place. The third lap was hard for me and I struggled to keep my tempo up. I got passed by a few people and found myself in 7th place on the last lap. I finished the race giving it all I had and felt overjoyed by how fun that race had been, despite kind of dying on the final lap. I learned to always have fun while you're racing!

Classic 3x3k relay: Although I didn't plan on it working out this way, I ended up being the anchor for my relay team for the fourth time at JNs. But I was happy because I love anchoring! I was also stoked because my two relay teammates Aja and Olivia are super speedy and I knew we had a shot at doing really well. We glittered up before the race, a JNs tradition and then began warming up. Olivia was our scramble leg (the hardest leg in my opinion) and unfortunately she got caught up in a crash that happened just moments after the gun went off. She did a great job at not giving up and brought us in around 9th place. Next Aja want out and being the awesome racer that she is, brought us up to 5th place, right around about 4 other teams! I was super excited at this point and I went out hard but remembered to stay in control. I caught up to two girls who were skiing together and passed them then pushed as hard as I could over the longest and hardest hill of the course. On one of the last downhills I got passed by an Alaska girl and couldn't quite keep up but I ended up bringing it home in 3rd place, a podium finish! I felt elated after this race because I had pushed myself harder than I had the entire week. I was super happy and so stoked to be able to share it with my awesome teammates. I learned that I push myself harder when I am not just racing for myself and I need to find that fire in individual races. 

Overall I had an incredible week at Junior Nationals and really enjoyed getting to know all of the amazing girls on the team. 

Sprint Series- Sun Valley, Idaho

Classic 10k- After a week of hard training and then rest, I was super stoked to get racing at Spring Series, the final set of races of the year! I was also beyond stoked because in this individual start 10k, I got to start 15 seconds behind my idol, Liz Stephen! Liz is a member of the US Ski Team and is seriously the nicest person I have ever met. She has so much grit in races and I have never seen someone as determined as her. I hope to someday be the type of person Liz is! Anyway, the 10k didn't end up being that great of race for me because my skis were slipping and I was having a hard time staying focussed because I skied most of the race alone. The downhills were also beyond sketchy and I was just happy that I made it down them alive. I wasn't too happy with my result, but the atmosphere of the race cheered me right up. Getting to watch the best skiers in the US compete was super inspiring! Also my teammate Leah had the race of her life, ended up 11th! Awesome! I learned to adjust your kick zone when the track is glazed over and that I need more practice with classic striding.

Skate sprint- The final sprint race of the year and I was not really feeling it. After my sub-par race the previous day, I was feeling a little lackluster. However, with my new pair of stiff Rossignol skate skis I flew through the qualifier round and felt amazing! I wasn't even scared of the sketchy corner before the last straight away and felt like I could push hard all the way to the finish. I even passed the girl in front of me. I ended up qualifying in 29th which meant that I would get to be in heats with the best ladies from around the country later that day! I was sooo happy! During the quarterfinal I was lined up against some amazing ski racers including a World Cup skier, and Park City alumni, Rosie Brennan. It was super cool. The gun went off and I was a little slow off the start but managed to get around a few of the girls before the first corner. On the downhill stretch I was passed back but fought hard all the way into the finish and almost caught the 5th girl but ended up being 6th which I was not sad about at all. It was such a fun day and I was so proud of all of my fellow junior racers who made it into the senior heats. I learned that when you are feeling good, ski racing can be freaking awesome!

Skate 4x5k relay: Sadly most of my PC teammates had to leave after the sprint day so they could get caught up on school but my #OGsquad teammate Leah Lange was able to stay, so we were the two girls to make up our four man relay team. We were grouped up with two young boys from the Steamboat team. The leg order went: classic girl, classic boy, skate girl, skate boy. Leah was going to scramble for us on classic skis because she is an incredible classic skier, and I was going to be the skate leg because let's be honest, skating is just waaay better than classic ;). Leah got our team off to a great start, despite getting caught in a fall, and brought our team in in 16th place. I'm not going to lie, I was nervous about how fast the two boys put on our team would be because they looked so young, but they both ended up holding up their end of the bargain and had great legs! I was tagged off in 27th place and powered through the powdery snow, passing as many girls as I could. It was super fun and I felt really good. I tagged our anchor off in 23rd place and he brought us home in 26th! It was a successful day and it made me love relays all that much more. I learned high tempo in slow snow=fast skiing.

Skate 15k: The final race of the season and my final race in the PCNSC race suit was also the longest race I had ever competed in, it was bound to be interesting, and I knew for a fact it would be fun. I had had a crazy night the night before (see previous post) and my adrenaline was still pumping when I woke up on race morning. I felt like my stomach was in knots driving up to the venue, Galena Lodge, but I wasn't sure if it was nerves for the race or nerves from the previous night. None the less, when I got out on skis and started warming up I started feeling better. I still had no idea how the race was going to play out though. All of the juniors racing the 15k would start with the massive group of 30k racers. I was happy about this because it meant there would be more people to ski with. The race started and I felt light on my feet. I scrambled to pass a few people before entering the long uphill of the 5k course and gained some time on my fellow juniors. However, when the long (and I mean really long) downhill came around, I quickly realized that my skis were super slow. I was passed by about 10 girls on that hill and I felt like all of my hard work on the uphill was for nothing. I considered quitting and telling my coach that he did a horrible job waxing my skis, but then decided otherwise because it would be a waste of money, time, and all of my parent's endless support if I quit. So I kept going and with that I kept passing people. I knew that there was at least one junior who had passed me on the downhill, a Colorado girl so I kept my head up and when I saw her up ahead, I kept telling myself that I would get her. And I did. At around the 10k mark I passed her and passed Leah who was bravely competing in the 30k. I hammered the last lap, not quite sure if I was the first junior, but pretty sure. I felt awesome and never slowed my pace. I came into the last stretch and passed a group of girls, one of which was Jessie Diggins, a US Ski Team member (who, to be fair, had been struggling with illness). I powered into the finish line, but hardly felt tired at the end. I had done it, I had won. The next girl came in 1 minute and 45 seconds behind; that's when I knew it had been a special day for me. It was the perfect ending to my season and my career with PCNSC. I learned that I am a good skier and I can be great. This season made me begin to doubt whether I could ever be a high level ski racer, but this race proved that if I stick with it and keep working hard, I can! 

Thanks for reading! Here's to Nordic skiing and its' many lessons!

RELAY DAY!

Lessons I've Learned this Season: Part 1

Not to get all philosophical on you, but it turns out nordic ski racing has a lot of similarities to life itself. Some days you will be on fire and enjoying every moment, while other days you will be struggling to make it up the smallest hill and it will take all you've got just to make it to the finish line. Just like every day in your life is different, every race you'll do will be a completely unique experience with different struggles you face and gains you accomplish. I thought I would reflect a little bit on my season, now that it's totally over, and think about what I learned from each race.

SuperTour- West Yellowstone, Montana
Skate sprint: First race of the year and my nerves were over the top. I felt anxious just thinking about getting on skis, let alone sprinting as fast as I could for 3 minutes. During the race I felt very unbalanced and unaggressive. I didn't make it into the heats and felt more disappointed than I should have. I learned this race that being extremely nervous can be paralyzing, and that you need to let bad races go quickly.

Skate 10k: I was nervous for this race, but not as nervous as I was for the sprint. I focused on pacing myself the first lap and felt that I did a pretty good job of not blowing up. I felt good about this race but only because my result was better than I expected. I learned that going out slower can help you in the long run.

Christmas Races- Jackson, Wyoming
Classic 5k: The first classic race of the year and I was very excited because I had worked hard the summer before to improve my classic technique. However this race did not go as planned. It was a difficult day for waxing and being on zeros (no-kick wax skis) was the better choice. I started the race feeling good but quickly realized between my messy technique and skis that were hard to kick, I was not going to be able to make it up the hills, no matter the effort I put in. I finished, but it was a straight up bad race almost to the point of hilarity. I felt I did a pretty good job of getting over it quickly and was soon ready for the next day. I learned that if your skis are slipping at all when you test them, get more wax!

Skate 7.5k: I was pumped for this race and really wanted to do well to make up for my blunder from the day before. I thought it would be perfect, being a skate, distance, mass start: my favorite. But, just like the day before, it didn't work out that well. I started aggressively, skiing with the front pack but felt that I was putting in way more effort than I should have been. About 1k in, I stupidly put my pole between my legs and went down, letting a stream of girls go by. From this point in the race on, I was just fighting to make up time, but I wasn't in the right kind of shape to do that and (although I didn't realize it at the time) I wasn't on the right skis either. I felt pretty disappointed after this race and a little nervous for my upcoming races in Houghton, Michigan. I learned that you shouldn't come into a race expecting to win, you have to let the race play out to a certain degree.

US Nationals- Houghton, Michigan 
Skate 10k: I had been thinking about this race for months prior to its arrival. Although in the back of my mind I knew that my preparation for this race was not what it should have been (lack of snow), I was confident that this was going to be my day. Well, just like many races, for many athletes, it wasn't my day. Just for those of you who were not blessed enough to experience this crazy day in Houghton, let me just say that I have never been more proud to finish a race. It was around -5 degrees when we were racing with a wind chill of below -20 degrees, not to mention that it was a blizzard. After I finished this race, and was safe inside a warm place, I felt like hugging everyone else who had finished it as well. It was the kind of day that proves how tough nordic skiers are. Anyway, my result in this race was far from what I wanted, but I genuinely felt like I had given it my all and that was what mattered to me in the long run. I learned that sometimes your preparation just won't be good enough to give you the race you want, and you have to accept that. I also learned from my friend and teammate, Leah Lange, to never wear a headband when it is that cold outside. I don't want to have to learn the frostbite lesson myself ;)

Classic sprint: For the past few years I have thought that classic sprinting was my weakest event, so naturally I wasn't too excited for this race, but I did my best to get hyped despite the nasty conditions outside. I ended up surprising myself in the qualifying round and made it soundly into the heats. I was feeling pumped before my quarterfinal, but because of slow skis and bad tactical racing, I ended up getting last in my heat, which didn't make me too happy. I learned that even if you are not feeling too excited to race during your warm-up, it doesn't mean that you won't race well. And there is a small possibility that I can actually classic sprint. 

Classic 5k: This was a mass start consisting of the 80-some best junior racers in the nation, so it was bound to be interesting. This race turned out to be my least favorite race of the season, not because my result wasn't great, but because I finished knowing that I could have given a lot more. It was a terrible feeling. The first kilometer of the race seemed to be going well. It was very difficult to pass people, given the tight group and powdery snow conditions, so I figured I would just keep my place in line for a little while longer until we got more spread out. The problem was, we never did spread out, so the majority of the race I was going level 2, but simply felt too lazy to pass the group of 6-ish girls ahead of me. I finished the race with the same slow pace I had started with, an empty heart, knowing that I had not accomplished my goal of making World Juniors, and the feeling that I was about to be hit with a nasty cold, which I was hit with later that day. I learned that if you go into a race knowing that you are not ready to give 100%, you probably shouldn't race. 

1st JNQ- West Yellowstone, Montana

Skate 5k: There was only a week break in between the Houghton races and these races, which I mostly spent recovering from the cold I came down with. But by the time we packed our suitcases and moved into the hotel, I was excited and ready to race this race. I felt like I had something to prove and I was determined to get a good result. I went out hard, probably too hard, but was able to stagger my way to the finish line before crumpling over in pain. This was definitely one of the harder races of the year, but it was worth it because I gave it my all and got the kind of result I was looking for. However, after leaving the tundra of Michigan, I assumed that the rest of the country was sweltering with heat, so I wore gloves that were way too thin and ended up freezing my fingers during the race. I learned the "don't wear thin gloves when it's 20 degrees" lesson the hard way as I paced awkwardly in the warming hut, cringing in brutal pain as my fingers thawed. 

Classic 10k: This race hands down wins hardest race of the year for me. I came into it knowing it would be hard, but it was even harder than I anticipated. My lack of classic skiing leading up to it meant that I seriously struggled on the uphills. I just felt like I didn't even know how to classic ski. There were about five times when I was a hair length away from quitting, but didn't. It was a brutal and highly unenjoyable race for me, but I was proud that I didn't give up. The lesson: Even if a race is going horribly, you should still finish it because you will feel way worse if you drop out, and know that other people are probably suffering just as much as you are. 

SoHo SuperQ- Midway, Utah

Skate sprint: I came into this race feeling genuinely excited, though I wasn't quite sure why because usually I am not a huge fan of sprinting. During the past few weeks, Utah had lost the majority of it's snow and training had been a bit of a struggle so some creativity was imperative in order to keep training interesting. Besides a few bad days, I had managed to stay motivated through this time and felt like I was ready to race. The qualifier was not the best and I struggled to ski technically well through the already slushy snow. However the heats went better for me for a change. Each round I fought to move on, eventually making it to the A-finals, a new personal best for me at this race. I left the venue feeling happy and accomplished. I learned that regardless of how you feel in the qualifier, the heats are a whole new ball game and if you just relax a little, they can actually be really fun. 

Classic 10k: It was a hot day outside and by the time the U18/U20 girls race came around, the tracks were already very soft and completely deteriorated in some places. I made the mistake of choosing to race on a softer pair of classic skis because I had never raced on my brand new klister skis before and I didn't want to risk having a slick ski like I had had in Jackson. This proved to be a poor choice because my skis were dragging the whole race and I had to work twice as hard on the flats and downhills just to keep up. But, besides having slow skis, I really enjoyed this race because my body felt good (maybe a little overheated), but good. I pushed myself all the way to the finish and ended up feeling pretty pleased with how the weekend went. I learned to not be afraid of trying new skis, even if you haven't raced on them before. Racing on the wrong pair of skis just because you are used to them will probably not work out that well.

Hello and Welcome

Hello and welcome to my newly created blog.

Now that the ski season is officially over,  I have quickly realized that my days can no longer be filled with training and netflix binging, so I thought blogging would be a good place to start on my journey to becoming a productive human being. So just to get things started, here are 10 semi-interesting and very random facts about myself:

1. Since a young child, I have had an unhealthy addiction to cinnamon Altoids (thanks Grandma)
2. I love to dance almost as much as I love to nordic ski and sometimes visualize myself in an alternate universe where I am a full-time dancer.
3. A few nights ago I had a traumatic experience at the Tyrollean Best Western in Sun Valley (hint: we asked our room neighbors to turn their tv down at 2:30 am... it didn't go over well)
4. This ski season I have acquired an obsession with the ABC Family show Switched at Birth.
5. I hate talking in loud places (this includes restaurants) and would prefer to stare off into space rather than having an awkward shouting conversation.
6. I am going to be running and nordic skiing for Northern Michigan University starting this fall and I'm super excited!!!
7. I want to learn how to cook and make healthy foods and such, but often times find myself to be too lazy to accomplish this goal. I mostly just eat soup when I cook for myself.
8. When I was in elementary school, there was a period of time when I wanted to be a writer when I grew up. (I'm going to count this blog as being a writer)
9. I'm super happy that my day-1 homie Kaila took a gap year with me so we can reminisce over our terrible high school memories and make awesome memories as well.
10. If you know me well, you already know that I love my dogs Sitka (aka Poonbuggy) and Bella and often admire how awesome and zen dogs are.

Cool, well thanks for reading my blog and I will try to post again soon.
#beatinggapyearlaziness